Monthly Archive for August, 2009

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Where the Wind Goes Blowing Down the Plain

Oklahoma Wind Farms

Oklahoma Wind Farms

Driving across America, one gets a feel for how large and varied is our country. In Oklahoma, I soared through miles and miles of wind farms. I know that some communities have fought against these turbines, referring to them as “eye pollution” but I thought they were beautiful. I could have spent hours just watching them spin.

Approaching Shamrock, Texas, the town where I spent last night, I saw multiple storms dumping rain twenty miles away. I was like driving under a gigantic, gray sponge.

Tonight, I am in Shamrock, TX….

Tonight, I am in Shamrock, TX. My goals: Monday, Gallup NM. Tuesday, Barstow CA. Wednesday, Santa Cruz CA.

In Oklahoma, I have found God …

In Oklahoma, I have found God and He inhabits the lower end of the FM band. #fb

Approaching Oklahoma City. It’…

Approaching Oklahoma City. It’s 97 degrees outside. #fb http://schmap.me/9mrrqf

From the highway, Arkansas is …

From the highway, Arkansas is nothing but McDonalds and Hooters. I’m surprised Bill Clinton ever left. #fb

Late start this morning, after…

Late start this morning, after 10AM, but it felt good to sleep. Hope to make Amarillo TX tonight. #fb

The Curse of the Stupid People

I must be a bloody genius.

As immodest as that may sound, all the evidence points in that direction. The only rational conclusion I can reach is that, on a mean curve, I must be among the brilliant people on the planet because other people are so d*am stupid!

Case in point: I am staying at a hotel in Arkansas. (“Aha,” I hear you say, “the results are already skewed!“). The bathroom shower is graced with a plastic curtain on a rod, and next to that is a sign that reads “When showering, please close curtain.” And just to emphasize the point, there is a pictogram of a person showering with the curtain open, and a red slash through it. Well, thank goodness they took the time to write out the sentence (in English and Spanish, I might add); otherwise, I might have thought that showers were forbidden!

But just think about this for a moment. Not only are people so stupid that the hotel management feels compelled to tell us to close the  curtain while showering, but the very fact that they went through all the trouble of making those signs means that it probably happened!

I assume that, when I checked in last night, the clerk did not size me up and think “Hmm, better give him the room with the sign about closing the shower curtain.” Rather, it is safe to assume that such signs exist in every bathroom in the hotel. Which means, at some point, someone neglected to close the curtain while showering, stepped out of the shower and into a puddle of water, looked back at the shower, spied the curtain, and thought “Huh?”

So to my fellow geniuses out there, the ones who think of closing the shower curtain without the use of visual aids: what other signs have you seen lately that show just how awfully smart you must be?

It feels good to shower, but I…

It feels good to shower, but I just tried to text with the soap and lather with my iPhone. #fb

Last night, I slept in my car …

Last night, I slept in my car at a NC rest stop. Tonight, I sleep on a mattress at an inn outside Little Rock: #fb http://schmap.me/j4dcn4

My “NPR Station Finder” iPhone…

My “NPR Station Finder” iPhone app cannot find any stations in Memphis! #fb

ELVIS = LIVES

In 1987, while driving from L.A. to my new life in New York, my dasboard power light started flashing shortly outside of Texas. I stopped at a garage in Alabama and they diagnosed that my alernator was failing. They also informed me that it would take them days to get that part for my VW Rabbit. My best bet was to get to Memphis, so they charged up my car battery and pushed me downhill toward Tennessee.

As it turns out, I spent a memorable weekend in Memphis. My hotel was just down the street from where Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot, which was odd. I couldn’t afford Graceland, but I visited the gift shop and bought a set of Elvis placemats.

Today, I am merely passing through Memphis and (knock on wood) my car is just fine. As much as I’d love to, I cannot take the time now either to visit Graceland, which is a double shame because I learned from the gentleman below that this is Elvis Week. As he explained “This is the week we celebrate Elvis’ death!” (I suggested that “commemorate” might be a better choice of words; after a moment’s pause, he agreed.)

I ran into Elvis at the Patsy Cline & Chet Atkins Memorial Rest Stop, found here: http://www.schmap.me/6wdnzt

at The Patsy Cline & Chet Atki…

at The Patsy Cline & Chet Atkins Rest Area; approaching Memphis, of course. #fb http://schmap.me/6wdnzt

at a rest stop near Edgar Evin…

at a rest stop near Edgar Evins State Park, TN. Spotted Elvis. #fb http://schmap.me/2cdc7q

Smoky Mountain Dawn

In October of 1987, at the age of 26, I loaded a small U-Haul trailor with my boxes of books and comics, hitched it to the back of my ten-year-old VW Rabbit, and left Los Angeles for my new home in Brooklyn, New York.

For a week or two before my departure, Southern California had experienced a number of substantial earthquakes. A sign on the back of my trailer read:

I’m tired of waking with a shake.
I’m going where the land don’t quake.
L.A. to N.Y. or bust!

Today, in August of 2009, I am having flashbacks to that trip as I travel over much of the same ground in reverse (not actually in reverse gear, you understand) as I leave my east coast home and drive to California to visit friends and family.

There are several notable differences, of course, between 1987 and now. On this trip, I am driving a 2009 Prius (getting about 500 miles a tank), listening to my iPod, getting directions from my GPS, and blogging my journey by typing into my iPhone.

In 1987, I drove 700 miles a day (except for the days I lost when my car broke down, but that is a story for another time), pulled into rest stops when I got tired, and slept in the back of my car.

Part of the reason I chose to do the trip this way now, I will confess, is to prove to myself that I still can. So yesterday, after a week at the Outer Banks with the family (and in-laws; but that, too, is a story for another time), I bade everyone goodbye and steered west. Last night around midnight, after covering just over 500 miles, I pulled over into a rest stop high up in the Smoky Mountains National Park and climbed into the back of my car to grab some much-needed sleep.

I awoke this morning before dawn. As the sun rose, I snaked my way down a foggy mountain and watched the morning mist slowly rise from it’s own slumber and pepper the sky.

Another difference from 1987: I’m no longer 26 years old! It’s not yet 10:00 AM, and I’m already bloody exhausted. Tonight, I check into a hotel, catch some TV, and sleep on a mattress!

I haven’t been in a MacDonalds…

I haven’t been in a MacDonalds in 20 years, but free ATT wifi brought me in. Food’s not as horrible as I remember. #fb

North Carolina goes on forever…

North Carolina goes on forever! I’ve been driving since before noon and I’m still in the NASCAR state. #fb http://schmap.me/4nnrpk

North Carolina goes on forever…

North Carolina goes on forever! I’ve been driving since before noon and I’m still in the NASCAR state. #fb http://schmap.me/4nnrpk

Feeling like Bartleby

I tested it all at home, before I left: using the iPhone Geotweet app, I could simultaneously post my location to Twitter, Facebook, and here on CitizenMcCord.com. You can see the successful tests below, but now that I have embarked on my actual road trip, the Geotweets are not posting. So I am forced to do this the “old-fashioned way”, typing my location in using the keyboard on my iPhone.

*sigh* … I feel like Bartleby the Scriviner.

Anyway, here I am at a rest stop between Burlington and Greensboro NC: http://www.schmap.me/brmcp8

I hope to make Chattanooga TN tonight.

At a rest stop between Burling…

At a rest stop between Burlington and Greensboro NC. Trying to make Chattanooga tonight: http://www.schmap.me/brmcp8 #fb

at a roadside restaurant near …

at a roadside restaurant near Greensboro NC, with kids. On our way to Duck. #fb http://schmap.me/5uwn5e